Does God have a large penis?

Does God have a penis at all?

Apart from the angels in Dogma given an absence of genitalia, I can't think of anything official on the subject. I'm sure it's been debated secretly inside the Vatican at various points, but I'd doubt the Catholic Church's PR agency would permit the consensus describing the penis of God to leak out.

Best way to answer if God has a penis is to decide whether God is male or female. God isn't a woman. Like all literary creations, God is what he was originally written. Just because popular obsession, extension and extrapolation of the story has exceeded the absurd, doesn't change that God was originally written as male.

Was God's penis circumcised?

It's hard to say. The argument for uncut relies on the argument God actually exists. If God existed before all creation, then who was around to circumcise him. Who was God's moil? However, if God is the sum of his author's description, then he's likely to be circumcised. Anthropologically speaking, humans circumcised to prevent disease. Jungle rot of the cock, or something. The question is, was Adam created foreskin intact? If Adam was modeled from God, then the state of his penis would provide conclusive evidence. But if we follow the story, and all men are descendant of Adam and Eve, and we're born with foreskins, don't you think God would have programmed no foreskins into our DNA? Unless the act of the foreskinectomy has an inherent importance (as the Jewish believe).

If circumcised, then God would have self-moiled. Like Superman, not even the arch angels have the power to injure God. Something must have happened to that divine remainder. If God could create females from a Adam's rib, create man from earth dust, what got created with God's spare foreskin?

So God creates some moil scissors powerful and sharp enough to cut through God flesh, finds a quiet, private spot, and snips. i already asked what happened to the foreskin. What happened to those scissors? i imagine those scissors would be useful to have. If they're powerful enough to cut through God's pleasure wand, then some miscreant could stab God in the heart with them, too.

I digress... Does God have a large penis?

The author, when describing the character of God, wrote him as the ultimate father figure. The question then becomes what's the perfect penis size of the perfect father? The ultimate purpose for the penis is to launch sperm into the uterus. It's the only reason it's got length, otherwise we'd have urine running down our legs like girls. To be a father, sperm must meet egg. To that end, any penis fellated to erection that can enter a vagina can successfully impregnate. However, some vaginas are small. Sometimes a girl is born with the female version of micropenis. Girls are also born without a vagina opening at all. That's called vaginal agenisis, but let's forget that (I know I'm trying to after reading that link). Given there's an opening there, it's physically possible that the smallest micropenis could enter the most cavernous porn slut DVDA pussy. It might go in very far, but once inside, the swimmers will head upstream. On the other hand, the monster cock black dude python isn't going to fit inside girls with microvagina. If the purpose of a penis -- for a male to become a father -- is the bare necessity of insertion and impregnation, therefore the ideal penis designed to impregnate all females must be small.

Conclusion: God has a small penis.


PS. No fat jokes today. And yes, morbidly obese men with micropenis can't get women pregnant without science. When there's that much padding on pubis, little dicks become "innies".